Resilient Bodies was a weekend conference for sixty youth work practitioners from all around Europe. It took place in Riga, Latvia, from 2nd to 5th May 2024. This mini-conference was organized within the framework of Erasmus+ funded international cooperation project BODYkind.
During the three days I visited several workshops, joined many discussions, attended a pecha-kucha night, and much more. It was a fruitful time full of meaningful connections and learned knowledge and skills.
Transactional analysis
Eric Berne
Parent - controlling (negative, says no, set boundaries), nurturing (positive, supportive)
Adult (responsible, fact based)
Child - adaptive (used to follow, fulfill the expectations, I need to fit), free (creative, rebellious, spontaneous)
transactional - happens in a relations
Partner wants to be child, playful, creative, enjoying. But the other is a parent, having a bad day, tired, trying to control the situation, screaming, blaming, … Jump to a controlling parent/rebellious child, bring more critics, underestimating, … The first still wants recognition and empathy. Solution is to be adults both. Explain, be honest. Stays with “I”. (When going into the nurturing parent, she would go to the planned evening. But inside she would be dying, and maybe get sick, or so, for not listening to her own needs.)
Name, in which role am I and why.
Questioning helps the radical honesty.
Roles switch naturally. Or there are external factors to push the person into some role.
Does not have to always be authentic.
Somatic safety
Somatic safety is important for each person, to really meet and experience ourselves, who we are at the present moment (our true observations and feelings), it is our capacity to engage with life and to live fully. It is represented in a form of primary responses.
Vagus nerve obtains 20 % of information from body to brain, but 80 % from body to brain.
Primary responses
fight
flight
freeze - dissociating
phone - please and appease, playing nice to eliminate the threat
It helps to meet our inner needs. But it is also a way to avoid shame and intuition, or sensuality, and the elimination of survival mechanisms (it was unsafe in the past). It helps to pick the right environment to fulfill my needs, and show the right way of how to do it. It is systemic, body and mind disconnection. Body is objectified. Rational over feelings, doing over being, productivity over creativity. So, the question is: How can we be more present, feel more, be more?
What does it feel like to be safe in your body? Who am I, if I feel safe? How do I interact with my environment and self, if I do?
How do I know I am safe in my body? Where does it show in it, and how do I feel in my body?
Can I identify how feeling safe in my body affects my youth work?
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