In the small village of Galbiate, near the foot of Monte Barro, the international training of youth workers Embracing change took place from 14 to 21 November 2022.
The project was conceived as an immediate response to the Covid-19 pandemic and the restrictions that caused considerable difficulties for a significant percentage of us and could thus introduce reasons for emotional instability or even detachment from our own experience. Thus, the training sought to work with the concept of the idea of 'the ability to cope with unpredictability and change'. The theses of the course were to know ourselves more, to better understand who we are and to map changes in our past.
"Fears are like stars in the boundless darkness of the Universe. We must first find out where their light comes from in order to be able to see, name, classify and understand it. We must first see them so that their radiance can illuminate our lives."
Several elements are needed for our inner being to be coherent and for us to behave according to our best consciousness and conscience. We must be authentic, be able to say "yes" and "no" and really mean it. We must have the strength to make serious decisions and take responsibility for them. We must be able to express our feelings not only in front of loved ones, but also in front of a large group of people, for example. And we must always be fully where we are - whether we speak or just remain silent. All of this applies to our bodies, minds, hearts and surroundings. Only in this way can we make the changes we need to make. We need to be an inspiration to ourselves.
Imagine your life as an island. On it you have your house, all your loved ones, your favorite places, your most loved food, and the weather is always the way you want it. But what about it? There's another island on the horizon that looks completely different from mine, and suddenly it connects to my island via a bridge! What am I going to do? How will I feel? Will I go talk to the owner of that island? Will I go find out what plants and animals live on his island? Oh, but no, there are many more islands coming in! Apparently, an underground earthquake shook the entire continent and my island is suddenly a large landmass connected to many other places. How do I feel now? What makes me happy and what makes me feel sad?
Try to answer the following questions:
Why are people afraid of change?
What are the positive results of change?
What feelings do people usually experience when they change?
How could you personally persuade someone to change?
She says she has a spring, bubbling and trickling over the rocks. It's a little stream through the trees, foaming in little pools. The rapids roll one by one as the water rushes between the distant banks. The brook is a river. And our lives are such a river. A river full of twists and turns, beaches, waterfalls, or bridges to other people. What does the river of your life look like, and how far have the waters of change taken you at this point in your life?
Vulnerability is one of the ways our consciousness takes care of us. It is taking responsibility for something that needs healing and is outside of our comfort zone. It is the opposite of weakness, judging ourselves and others, and the fear of leaving our own comfort zone. Because those bring out our lack of understanding - you're only good if you can do something (shame). They evoke in us a need to compare ourselves - you are good, but someone else is better (humiliation). They evoke in us a sense of disconnection - a fear of taking risks (refusal to commit). They are also a condition for creating sympathy in the sense of feeling pity, instantly saving and condemning other people based on comparison with our own experiences ("your husband may not be having fun with you, but at least you have one). In contrast, Brené Brown advocates empathy - a mutual bond of connection between two souls based on feeling emotions to the core, a deep understanding of the other person's situation.
Vulnerability builds our self-esteem because it allows other people a glimpse of what is going on inside us, so they can become a full part of our story. They may not understand us, they may find the whole thing far-fetched, but they will be there with us, and they will be there for us. That's all we need at that moment, and that's all the other person can give us. Not their good advice, or pity, or distraction. We all love to listen to other people's stories of vulnerability. But are we willing to open up to them ourselves?
What are all the big and small things that make my day meaningful?
There's a huge difference between "I'm stupid" and "I did something stupid." But between guilt and shame, it's a pattern that most of us have adopted, and that we live every day, disconnected from our own needs by fear of smallness, by fear of judgment. Resilience is a form of sharing our shame and refusing feedback on our behavior from people who are trying to help us and set up an external mirror of our behavior without prejudice or ill intent. It is leaving the cage of our minds that shame locks us in and overcoming feelings of unworthiness and awkwardness. In life we need to remain an optimistic realist.
"Give me the strength to accept all that I cannot change.
Give me the courage to change all that I can change.
And give me the wisdom to tell the two apart."
Emotions are energy in motion, movement with purpose. We know them as feeling sensations, emotions and feelings. Feeling sensations are stimuli coming from our senses (external and internal). Emotions are a combination of these sensations. Feelings are emotions expressed externally. We can regulate emotions by changing their direction (substituting one thought for another), by moderating their intensity (talking ourselves out of it), or by changing the whole philosophy of the feeling (through movement, yoga, etc.). Those who have a greater store of naming feelings are also more able to recognize and work with them, as well as build the necessary resilience. Understanding emotions leads to accepting them and creating space for change.
"It is not joy that makes us grateful, but gratitude that makes us joyful."
